My husband and I used to be addicted to late night TV; we watched from our bed every night until we finally fell asleep. After learning about soft addictions we discovered that we really weren't getting entertained. We were just watching TV to avoid talking to each other. So, we got rid of the bedroom TV and agreed to spend time talking about our day before going to bed. We started sharing our little victories and upsets and really talking to each other. Going to bed now is more satisfying. We feel connected and more nourished by our rest.

Every year, friends were planning vacations. I never understood why I didn't have money saved up for one. Then I started adding up my gourmet coffee consumption. I discovered the cost of my coffee breaks ($4/day) was the equivalent of a nice annual break, about $1,500. It wasn't easy to give up the lattes, but I started adding in exercise in the late afternoon, about 4pm, when I usually hit my afternoon slump. Instead of caffeinating, I took a swim break. Hey, sometimes I did my evening paperwork by the pool! And, I joined in the fun with my friends with a great stash of cash saved up! (And I was in much better shape for the beach!)

I'm on the eternal search for the perfect pair of jeans – the kind that make me seem 10 pounds lighter. While I haven't found them yet, I usually leave the mall with lots of other stuff that I sneak into the closet so my husband doesn't notice. Looking at my clothes I have to laugh because I know exactly why I bought them: those are the jeans I bought when my husband and I had a fight. I bought this shirt when my boss gave me feedback on my report. After reading Judith's book, I learned to curb my shopping addiction by talking about my feelings before I go to shop. Now when I feel upset, I don't run to the mall, I pick up the phone and call a friend.

It used to be that I would spend hours poring over catalogs when I walked in the door after work. The next day I would complain about how little time I had to spend doing the things I really wanted to do. I realized that I was wasting time but I couldn't stop the compulsion to look at catalogs. I used the skills in Judith's Soft Addiction Solution to:

• Identify that I wanted to belong and fit in as a girl and even as an adult I was still using the catalogs to fill this gap in my life
• Add some compassion for myself as a little girl who was struggling to dress and fit in with no supervision
• Add a vision for myself as a woman who matters
• Told a friend about what I was doing and asked her to be available to call when I walked in the door with all the new catalogs.

The results? More time, more productivity and me feeling a lot more satisfied!

I've dabbled in just about every diet program around, and I'm still fat. After I attended the Soft Addictions training, I realized that my struggle isn't really about food – it's about me, what I really want, and how I'm substituting food for more meaningful things. At the training, I decided to lose one pound – that's it – over the upcoming holiday season. By adding fulfilling activities, like reaching for the phone to call a friend instead of ice cream when I felt upset, I have found myself eating less, without effort. I know one pound doesn't sound like much – but it worked, and it's the first step toward being more comfortable in my body, exercising more, and changing bad habits for positive ones.

I used to tell myself that I was not one of those people who spend their free time watching TV. I was busy working a demanding job as the Director of Product Development in an educational publishing company. I loved my job – it was fast-paced, challenging, and creative, but after working long hours, I would come home exhausted. I would plop down on the couch, and before I knew it, I had spent four hours glued to the TV. Then I would be upset because I didn't get anything done. I'd go to bed late and wake up tired, and the whole cycle started again. To change my behavior I first had to identify that my TV-watching habit was a soft addiction. Next, I started to say when I was going to watch TV and for how long. At first it was hard to stick to the timing, but then I found myself turning off the TV even before my hour was up! I now spend my evenings making a nice meal for myself, talking a walks around my neighborhood, and reading. Every once in awhile I feel the urge to zone out in front of the TV, but the time I spend doing it is less and less.

I'm a stacker. I stack my mail, my homework, my bills, my clothes, my pictures, my magazines. I think that I'm being sensible when I delay throwing things out. Maybe I'll need it someday – the perfect gift from a catalog, or a coupon, or a Christmas card from a neighbor. The funny thing is, I rarely ever get anything out of those piles. Perhaps sweating over the small decisions is just a distraction from the bigger jobs: getting my PhD, losing those 10 pounds, and going for that promotion. Hmm, time to get rid of the piles of the past and live the challenges of today.